Sunday, June 20, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Jameson Taillon
Today is a good day.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Pirate Profiles: Octavio Dotel
By the age of 15, Dotel was ready to claim his rightful spot in the competitive field of library science. However, while taking his daily trip to the eye glass repair shop, the precocious Octavious chose a walking route that led him far away from the familiar and courtly mansions and into the precarious slum neighborhood nearby. Along the way Dotel spotted a group of youngsters about his age that were waving some sticks around and running around a diamond (hint: he saw a baseball game for the first time). Intrigued, Octavious asked: “I say, you hooligans seem to be having a mirthful experience. May I partake in this activity?” Dumbfounded by what they saw and heard, the “hooligans” allowed Dotel to join them, but only after he suffered a severe nerd beatdown.
You can probably guess the rest of the story by now. Dotel becomes cool and learns to be more street-wise. He drops the name “Octavious” for something much different and cooler: “Octavio”. His dreams of becoming a librarian are cast aside to make room for his new obsession with baseball. In the end, he is forced to reconcile his two dreams and choose only one. He chooses baseball and history is made. However, in an M. Night Shymalanesque twist that I just came up with, none of those things actually happened.
So what actually happened? Who knows and who cares – just like every other M. Night Shymalan movie. Roasted. Has that guy been ridiculed enough yet? Though his new movie looks awesome...*End Babbling*
Monday, May 17, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Bucs Win: We're Still Slacking
So despite the lack of recent posts, we are still writing, just slacking tremendously. With one of us in Japan, and the remaining two of us directing our efforts towards other projects, we haven't kept up with posts. No more, at least for tonight. I present to you... A RECAP!
The Pirates looked pretty good today. It sure was nice to watch them come back to tie the game at 6 before wrecking Zambrano's life to go ahead by 3 in the 8th. Cutch putting another nail in the coffin in the 9th was also awesome to see.
I can't write about this game without mentioning the career days Cutch and the GFJ had. Cutch goes 5 for 5 with 2 RBIs and a walk, while scoring 5 times.
He was on base every time he got to the place, and only failed to score once. That is damn near perfection. And it is beautiful.
Jones went 5 for 6 with 5 RBIs and scored twice, which is equally ridiculous, and makes me very happy as a Pirate fan.
What great outings from these two. Hopefully they continue to be produce consistently so we have offense every game.
Now that you are obviously excited about the days Cutch and GFJ had, it's time to give you some bad news because you are a Pirates fan, and you must always have disappointment with your excitement.
Aki was 0 for 6.
He just continues to struggle and cannot seem to get going. If he continues down this path, it may not be too much longer before management has to seriously consider other options at second base. Say... Neil Walker?
Walker is having a great season so far in Indianapolis, and I have to think that he should get a shot to show what he can do in the Show soon if Aki can't get the job done.
I like Aki-San, but if he is not going to be able to string together some hits on a consistent basis, then the Pirates have to go with whoever is going to be able to give them that production.
Anyway, the Pirates are now 15-20, so only 5 more wins until .500.
Wahoo!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I haven't said much for a while
Anyways, Blass totally jinxed (jynxed?) us today by talking about how well our lineup did against Cueto.
Wednesday afternoon game = total attendance of 17
Peace out my homefries.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Pirate Profiles: Garrett Jones
The events surrounding the birth of Garrett Jones are shrouded in mystery. Among the many rumors that persist, there are some undeniable truths which must be recognized for the sake of posterity:
- Jones is a direct descendent of the mountain man Jim Bridger.
- His birth took place on the top of Mt. Rushmore (upon the plateau of Lincoln's hair)
- Similar to Hercules, Jones was forced to perform 12 labors in order to rectify the act of killing his younger brother. Currently, 9 of the 12 labors have been completed.

Thursday, May 6, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Pirate Profiles: Andy LaRoche

- Doubles
- Big Brother Adam
- Godzilla
- The LaRoche Family Crest
- Kickball
- Any hit other than double
- Florida
- Mustard
- Exercise balls
- Pokemon
Monday, May 3, 2010
Well, we're the Pirates
Also, finals over, more time for this again.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Two in a row.
-Everybody should see the last 5 minutes of the made-for-TV movie The Langoliers
Damn Finals, Go Bucs
Get out your bread and butter, grandma. It's Grand Salami time.
Ryan Doumit, what a man. Takes a shot in the nards then gets the big home run in the ninth.
Andy is making solid contact in every at bat, this excites me.
I've decided that Andrew McCutchen will be Jose Reyes with slightly more power from an offensive standpoint. This is based on very little, I like whims.
Final Note: finals week and John Madden blow equally.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Ay. Dios. Mio.
Oh. My. God.
So the Pirates lost big.
Again.
To the Brewers.
Again.
You may be asking yourself, why is this happening all of a sudden, or maybe you knew this was coming all along. Well, I don't think anybody thought it was going to be this bad.
I mean seriously, I can understand if the Pirates are going to lose some games, but to not even be competitive enough to have a chance to win is just a joke.
The injury to Ohlendorf seems to really have hurt the Pirates pitching staff. With Ross out, they are forced to rely fairly heavily upon minor league gypsies who really have no business being on a major league mound.
That said, I can't really blame the bullpen too much for giving up runs, because at this point, they have to be tired. Also, it's not like the offense is doing much to help them out. Over the last 8 games, the starting pitcher has been on the hook for the loss. The game is over by the time the bullpen gets in the game.
I'm not saying that coming in and giving up runs is helping the team win games, but it certainly isn't the reason we are losing them. I'd like to think that if the offense could put up more runs and we could get some quality starts from the rotation, then the Pirates could start winning some games again.
Until then, we are left to ponder what is wrong with the team and why they lose so badly to the Brewers.
I'll have more information on that soon.
Pre-Emptive Post
Sunday, April 25, 2010
I'm Fixing a Hole...


Saturday, April 24, 2010
Pirates only lose by 1: Success!!!
Clement needs to hit a few more to make up for his terrible average
Maholm gave the exhausted pen a bit of a rest
That's about all I remember, freaking school...
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Pirates set record


("b" is the probability that you will listen to "Party in the U.S.A." and enjoy it)Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Bucs Lose: Ugly City
I have to believe Charlie Morton's going to have some gems to counterbalance starts like this.
That's really all I want to say
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Bucs play well; Jason Marquis does not

("Mrrr...Please don't look at me")
Mr. Marquis pitched quite poorly. Here is the official stat line: 0.0 IP, 4H, 7ER, 1BB, 0K, 28 pitches. The Brew Crew went on to score 3 additional runs in the first inning. Yowza. I always chuckle at the beginning of the season when a bullpen guy gets only 1 out and gives up 5 runs or so and his ERA soars to 108.00 or something like that, but this guy has gone three starts now and all he has to show is an 0-3 record with a 20.52 ERA. That's bad enough for Will Smith to say "Dayumm!"
(Though, for me, it isn't difficult to imagine something that would make Will say "damn".)
However, the point here is not make fun of Jason Marquis. It is rather to reiterate the old saying that it "ain't over til its over". Despite giving up a huge lead in the first inning, the Nats rallied to score 7 runs over 16 hits across the next 9 innings while the Brewers managed only 1 more run. The Nationals ended up losing by 4, leaving 2 stranded runners at the end of the 9th. Even though they came up short, it is refreshing to see a ball club give it their all the whole game even though a bum essentially threw away the game in the first inning. Sorry again Marquis.
("No, go on. It's cool. I'm still making $15 mil")
Bucs Win 5-3: Jay Bruce Still Sucks
- Bronson Arroyo is a decent pitcher. Doesn't impress me much. The Pirates were equally unimpressed.
- Jaramillo went 2 for 3 with 3 RBIs. That's great production for a backup catcher, even if it was only for one game.
- Cutch stole another base and got to third on the errant throw, which is always good to see. He's going 40-40 this year. It's kind of an organizational goal.
- Jay Bruce still sucks. 2 HRs mean nothing when they don't help your team win. Call it the Jason Bay effect. He's still hitting .178 so far this season. He's terrible
- SWEEP!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Bucs Win 5-4: Walkoff City
- Darkwing looked terrified standing up there with a full count in the bottom of the ninth. If Cordero would have put it near the zone, I'm not too confident anything good would have come from it.
- A walkoff granny would have been awesome, but I'll take a really long single any day in that situation.
- There's something different about this team. I'm not saying it's their year or anything, but I really like the way things feel
Maholm vs. Arroyo for the series sweep tomorrow. I'm way too excited about the prospect of 2 games over .500
Bucs Win 4-3: Relievers need to throw strikes.
- Zach Duke pitched well and kept his pitch count down, hopefully the rest of the rotation follows suit
- The Bucs are playing some good small ball. Bunts and stolen bases win baseball games
- I have a strong distaste for the man called Jay Bruce
- The ball to strike ratio of our relievers is simply unacceptable and almost cost us this game. Every team needs good middle relievers, and I'm not sure if we have those right now.
- Darkwing Duck might be a legitimate 3 hitter...I'm pleasantly surprised so far.
Not much else to say without actually seeing the game. Ross is out for tomorrow, McCutchen gets the start. Let's hope he remembers how to hit the strike zone.
Friday, April 16, 2010
"Iwamura-san sitte masu ka?" "Hai".

Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Pirates lay an egg, Sanchez was Dirty
Games like this happen, can't be too down on the team for it.
- Charlie Morton is definitely talented enough to be a major league pitcher, he just needs the head for it now; mix up the pitches from time to time. However, the drop in velocity from his first start to this start was not encouraging.
- I really like the patience Garrett Jones has been showing at the plate. Too many power hitters are way too free swinging.
- Jonathan Sanchez is a good pitcher (but that one was obvious). I wish we could have landed him in the Freddy deal that netted us Tim Alderson as was originally rumored. I know Alderson has a lot of potential, but it's hard to remember that after watching Sanchez pitch lights out.
Let's hope PNC park treats us better
In game update
That is all
Pirates win 6-5: That makes him a saaaad panda
- Anyways, GFJ flashing the leather at first makes me really wish we could play him and his abysmal arm at first full time.
- Paul's sky hook will be on highlight reels the rest of the year
- .500 is always a good feeling, even this early in the year.
- Cutch's fast is faster than your fast
Morton goes for the series win today. Winning series means winning seasons, so I'm going to go ahead and call this a big game today
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Quit Layin' it in There, Meat: Bucs Lose 9-3

Hey everybody, I'm Turd Ferguson, and I'll be contributing posts from time to time as well. There's not much to tell about me. I like giant hats, preferably sombreros, and hey, it's a funny name. Anyway, without further ado, here is the game recap...
"Hey! Panda Bear! We don't take kindly to yer type 'round 'ere!" In case you didn't notice, the picture above is Pablo Sandoval, AKA "Panda Bear". That line pretty much sums up how I felt as I watched him go 3 for 4 with 2 runs and a walk. Not a bad stat-line to say the least, but still not as good as catcher Bengie Molina, who went 4 for 4 with 4 RBIs, 2 runs, and a walk. Those two guys shouldered much of the Giants offense, with everybody else chipping in accordingly.
That is a stark contrast to the Pirates lineup, where the offensive output came from Aki and Andy, with Cutch, Cedano, and Raynor being the only other Pirates to get a hit. Looking at the boxscore, it is fairly easy to see why the Bucs dropped this game, but the boxscore never gives the whole story.
I admittedly did not catch much of the game, but I saw some highlights of the game, and it could have ended better than it did. The Pirates had a chance in the 7th until it was revealed that a better part of the lineup cannot hit a slider over the middle part of the plate to save their lives. But hey, they fought hard and tried their best, and in the end, what more could we ask for as fans? After all, it's just a game and you play the game to have fun, just don't tell Herm Edwards that.
While it's certainly disappointing to see the Bucs drop another game, take solace in the fact that at least it wasn't as bad as yesterday. They'll get a win tomorrow... well... today now, so don't stop believin' just yet,
That'll do it for this game recap. It's 4:30 in the morning, I'm exhausted, the Pirates lost, and I have to go to class at some point tomorrow. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. Other than that, an enjoyable first post overall. Enjoy the game later today.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Bucs lose big: Don't want to see the score again
Some positives
- I think I heard that Daniel McCutchen attempted to bunt for a hit. This excites me.
- Aki still draws walks like no other
- If you erase the fourth inning, them buccos win (also, if my aunt had a penis, she'd be my uncle)
- Still not under .500
Looking at the Altoona game, no real shock here but Strasburg is the real deal. Consistently at 97-98 on his fastball through five innings with a breaking ball that fooled a fair share of Curve batters. He gave up a few, but a lot of that can be attributed to the defense behind him. On the Altoona side of things, a few disappointments and a little encouragement. Gorkys Hernandez cannot hit a curveball. He just can't do it. Rudy Owens looked sharp for most of his start with only a little hiccup at the end. I would be very excited about this guy if his fastball could get above 89. I was really looking forward to seeing Chase D'Arnaud play, but he was given the game off (save for a late game double switch), maybe next time.
The crowd at this game was crazy huge. I'm pretty sure we parked in some guy's backyard.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Pirates win 6-3: Aki Goes Yard
- List of reasons Akinori Iwamura is my hero:
1. He's beastly at drawing walks
2. He's got a wicked awesome name (reminiscent of Benito Santiago on that front)
3. His favorite movie is the Sean Connery classic, The Rock
4. Drawing on number three, I can only assume that he'll take pleasure in gutting you...boy.
-I didn't like the moving of Milledge to the 3 slot, I just can't see him as a 3 batter, but you can't argue with results. Hopefully they keep up.
-If McCutchen is going to continue batting in the 2 slot, JR's going to have to start having him bunt with a runner on and less than 2 outs.
- Zach Duke put up good numbers, but just looking at his ball to strike ratio, I'm guessing he was having some command issues. Hopefully he starts finding the strike zone more often soon.
- Donnie Veal has some potentially electric stuff. A mid-90's fastball and a breaking ball that looks unhittable at times. It'll be interesting to watch how he develops and advances through the year.
- I'm confident the Pens will have no problems with the Senators
Speaking of the Senators (how do you like that segway, boom), I'm going to be in Altoona tomorrow to catch Rudy Owens take on Stephen Strasburg and the Harrisburg Senators. I just have to see for myself whether or not this man can really produce thunderbolts from his arm as I have heard.
Bucs go for their second straight series win tomorrow. Daniel McCutchen, lead us to victory.
Lastings Looks Like a Duck
Also, we hate Ryan Braun and Jay Bruce while we love the dying art of the bunt. Don't ask why, we don't know, we just do.
PS: Boom, Roasted. (We like quoting shows and movies as well)



