Pirate Profiles: Andy LaRoche

Article ideas have been hard to come by. The Pirates haven't been particularly bad or good lately, though they are starting to pick up some hard fought wins. Brainstorming sessions have made me wonder "What is the story behind our favorite Pirate players?". Without further ado this is the series I like to call: "Pirate Profiles".

Andy LaRoche was born in Fort Scott, Kansas and grew up chasing tumbleweeds around the barren plains of that desolate state. As a result, Andy built up his speed and was destined to be the fastest baseball player since Rickey Henderson (who had a career 1,406 stolen bases - most all time). Unfortunately at the age of 18, LaRoche broke his leg in a collision at first base which left him unable to steal a base ever again. Not willing to give up his future in baseball, Andy began an intensive training program in which he would hit balls only to the fence of the ballpark - no further. At that point he knew was destined to go for the all-time doubles record. He currently has 40 doubles in 4 major league seasons.

("Chalk up another double for me. boom baby!")

On July 31, 2008, Andy was traded to the Pirates. He was the de facto starter at third base and was united with his brother Adam. At first, I thought the Pirates acquired Andy merely because he is Adam's brother and that they could use "The Brothers LaRoche" as a late season gimmick to attract fans to the ballpark. After he batted .151 in his first season and posed with his brother in multiple photo ops, my suspicions were confirmed.

(Andy: "What am I doing wrong...big brother, please teach me your ways."

Adam:" I have no brother.")

Every once and a while, Andy launches an "Andy Bomb", which is a not so subtle nickname for a homerun hit by Andy LaRoche. These "Andy Bombs" are far and few between and Andy considers them failures for they do not count towards his ultimate goal of breaking the major league doubles record. After extensive research, I've created an exhaustive list of Andy's likes and dislikes.

Likes

• Doubles
• Big Brother Adam
• Godzilla
• The LaRoche Family Crest
• Kickball

Dislikes

• Any hit other than double
• Florida
• Mustard
• Exercise balls
• Pokemon

In sum, Andy is the man. You can tell by his stance.

Thanks for reading and look for more "Pirate Profiles" in the near future. Peace out.